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About Las Palmas

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Llodio is like a mosaic: every nook, each back alley (even the sketchy ones, but hey, they're real) gets a tale. It's not all sunny—there were days I got totally mad at the constant rain, drenched in existential angst. But then, man, the light breaks through, and it's like, "Voilà, the cosmic ballet goes on."

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