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About Valencia

Oh, and the typos – sory, hands shakin from adrenaline, ha! Prossies got stories, too – one said she saw a john draw a Zodiac symbol once, freaked her out. Coincidence? I’m like, “Whoa, that’s wild!” Exaggeratin for effect? Maybe, but it’s my tale, so suck it! Dr. Evil’s smirkin – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” coz I’m livin large, chasin thrills, and spillin tea to ya like a true bro. What a rush!

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Man, don’t even get me started on the parks. Parque de las Maravillas is my secret spot. I chill there, daydreamin’ and schemin’ life. The river Serpiente flows by. Yeah, you heard me—the Serpiente River! It snakes around like it’s hiding some crazy tales. I once sat on a bench there, feelin’ all reflective like Wong Kar-wai’s films, thinkin’ “Time is a flat circle.” Crazy stuff!

Jose Mourinho in training ground bust-up with Manchester United fitness coach Carlos Lalin that got so heated another member of staff had to step in