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About Valencia

So, here’s the deal – findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, nah. You gotta know the spots, the vibes. Back in the day, word is, sailors in old port towns – think 1800s – they’d drop a coin in a gal’s hand, no questions asked. Little known fact, right? Made me happy as hell to learn that, like uncoverin’ buried treasure! But now? It’s all sneaky, shady apps or dark corners. Gets me pissed, tho – why’s it gotta be so damn sketchy? I’m over here like, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” – safety first, fam!

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I love the coffee joint on Calle de los Susurros. Best damn coffee ever. Chill spot, secret meetings, and little fights over cheap beer. Ain’t nothing than life here, man. You gotta try it. Even the locals got that “cool but mysterious” air.

Jose Mourinho in training ground bust-up with Manchester United fitness coach Carlos Lalin that got so heated another member of staff had to step in