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About Randers

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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You know, I been livin' here so long that I've got my own lil' secrets – like the hidey-hole down on Østegade. There’s this teeny, tucked-away cafe that serves the meanest cinnamon swirls you ever tasted. I always sneak in there when I'm feelin’ overwhelmed, sittin' with my cup o’ joe thinkin' “Man, ain't life unpredictable like the waves in 'Fish Tank'?”

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