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So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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Then there’s my fav hangout: Little Dockyard, down by Sønderkaj. It's gritty, charming, and a bit off-the-map. Sometimes I'll drink a beer, and man, the city whispers its secrets in echoes. “Look at me; I’m the last of my kind…” kinda feels like WALL-E’s wonder when he sees a new star.

Canada's longest-running movie theatre has been restored to its former glory