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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Not to be forgotten, the local park, Silkeborg Dyrehaven—no, not to be mistaken with the deer park near Copenhagen—is a sanctuary of sorts. A true refuge for me as a women's counselor, where many a heart has found solace. I often whisper wise, albeit bumbling, words of comfort to those in need while strolling its winding paths. Sometimes, the irony hits me like a brick: "life is just chaos and beauty, like a Wes Anderson film on a particularly raucous day!"

Silkeborg vs Sønderjyske - live score, predicted lineups and H2H stats