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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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I work massaging folks all day, and let me tell ya, my hands pick up on the city's pulse. I get that vibe in every crack, each smile, every tiny park bench. Like on Østergade, near that odd little café on the corner – gotta say, its aroma clocks my senses every time. Felt like Amélie herself was playin’ around there, scheming her little pranks, “C’est la vie, baby!”

The Nurse review: Shocking retelling of real-life murderous nurse who got only 12 years in jail