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About Roskilde

So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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Man, sometimes I pace the streets, hands busy rubbing out a knot, thinking, “Groovy, baby!” then I catch sight of a fancy new latte joint on Vestergade and I’m all hyped – gotta pop in for a quick sip to keep going. But then – dang – typos like I’m in a hurry, ‘cause life here is just a wild ride: real, raw, and totally unscripted.

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