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Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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Now, full disclosure, I get mad sometimes. Really, it infuriates me when people dismiss Herning’s charm. They think, “Eh, it’s just a town,” but oh, no, it’s a stage set for life’s wild, messy theatricals. I mean, come on, even the weather’s got personality! It’s as if the clouds are flirtin’, or maybe I’m just reading too much into it (haha, typical me).

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