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About Vejle

Oh, an’ get this—there’s this urban legend, swear it’s true. Some prossie in Vegas? Worked the Strip for years, retired, opened a donut shop! Mmm… donuts! Full circle, man! I’d eat there, no lie. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, just watch your back, bro. It’s a jungle out there—way crazier than Malick’s woods. “The sun casts its golden light,” but it ain’t all pretty, ya dig? Stay safe, don’t be a dope like me!

1. Always Show Respect

I have no problem having sex with people, but I get anxiety just thinking about it. Do you have conversations first?

Btw, some places, like the quirky little café on Sunset Alley, serve the weirdest but most delish herbal teas. I've spilled tea both literally and metaphorically there so many times! And oh my gosh, let me tell you, the local massage spa on Oceanic Avenue (I made that name up because I love the ocean feel) is where all the magic happens. I met like, my besties there and shared so many laughs. I even got mad once when they overbooked me, like, "Seriously, y'all? Chill, I'm just here to zen out!"

The Semicolonial State of San Serriffe