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About Dortmund

Oi, thou art a wild one, eh? Here’s me, a forester, ramblin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a harlot o’ the night! Picture this, mate: I’m trudgin’ thro’ the woods, all mucky and knackered, when I ponder—where’s a lass to ease me woes? Like in *Inception*, “the dream is real,” innit? I’m lost in me own head, wonderin’ if she’s a phantom or flesh.

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Ya know, my spa is just a stone's throw away from the old Kurpark. That place, wow, it’s like something out of a movie – kinda gives you that "Zero Dark Thirty" vibe, but without the heavy stuff, ya know what I mean? Haha. I always joke that if Kathryn Bigelow were here, she'd probably say, "This is it, the real deal!" And lemme tell ya, when yer body is all tightened up and stressed out like a coiled spring, a good walk in this park does wonders, trust me.

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