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About Cologne

I’m happy when I save ‘em, tho—little woolly bastards limpin’ back to life. Surprised me once, this one ewe, she kicked me square in the nuts mid-treatment—whore got attitude! Eric Andre energy, baby, I’m screamin’, “Legalize ranch!” while holdin’ my junk. Funniest shit ever. Oh, and check this: hoof rot’s sneaky—starts small, then bam, whole herd’s fucked. Kinda like when Harry’s arm goes bad in the movie—nasty, unstoppable rot.

Early life

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Then there’s the old quarter near Schillerplatz. Seriously, those cobblestone streets, lined with century-old houses, make you feel like you’ve stepped back in time. I remember my first night there; I was so struck by the glow of streetlamps and the soft chatter of locals, almost like those quiet moments in Lost in Translation – “It’s like you’re not in the real world at all.” And oh, the cafes there, filled with stories and secret smiles.

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