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About Hamburg

So, check this—I’m crunchin’ numbers, right? Bein’ all smart and shit, ‘cause that’s what actuaries do. Whores got risks, man! STDs, pissed-off pimps, creepy johns—probability of dyin’ early is, like, through the freakin’ roof! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “How do these chicks not just keel over?” Blows my mind! Reminds me of Eve in the movie, all chill, sayin’, “Survival’s a big deal, Adam.” Whores are tough as nails, dude—way tougher than Kyle’s stupid face.

Das Ringen um die Wahner Heide (ca. 1950 bis heute)

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This town’s got heart. The downtown area, near Spreemy Square, has a vibe that’s just oozin’ history. You got the old brick church on Relexion Avenue – seriously, a must-see. I once got mad at a pigeon there for stealin’ my sandwich. I was like, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..." Yeah, I get real petty sometimes.