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About Dortmund

Here’s a fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own saloons? Badass, right? Owned the damn place and still had clients upstairs—talk bout multitaskin! Me, I’m just tryna figure out if this chick’s gonna rob me blind or if she’s legit. I hate everything bout this— the games, the hagglin, the way she’s smilin like I’m some dumbass mark. “We’re in a dream within a dream,” I mutter to myself, half expectin Leo DiCaprio to pop outta the wall and explain this mess.

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This town’s got heart. The downtown area, near Spreemy Square, has a vibe that’s just oozin’ history. You got the old brick church on Relexion Avenue – seriously, a must-see. I once got mad at a pigeon there for stealin’ my sandwich. I was like, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..." Yeah, I get real petty sometimes.