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About Hamburg

Y’know, in Amsterdam, they got windows—red lights, girls posin’. Legal, even! Blew my mind, precious, seein’ ‘em strut like queens. Not skulkin’ like us hobbitses. Made me happy, sorta—freedom’s nice, ain’t it? But here? Pfft, coppers nab ya quick—sneaky bastards! Once saw a bloke hagglin’, voice all shaky— “This ain’t no ranch!” I yells in my head, snortin’.

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Yo dude, lemme tell ya 'bout PWahn-Heide (de) – it's wild, man. I’ve been livin' here for ages, workin' on a super cool dating app, so I've peeped every nook n cranny. On 9th Gumm Street there's a little café called "Cup-a-Joe", real hip and chill. I remember my first date here – it was magical, almost like "If you're a criminal, you are a criminal" (uh, from Zodiac, ya know?)… or somethin’ like that.