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About Cologne

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Ohhh, my dear friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Simmerath (de) – a crazy, wild little gem in our little corner of the world, yes, yes! I’ve lived here for years, ya know, and as a pleasure coach, my eyes see every magical, weird detail. Uhm, we got this street – Am Hohlbach – where the peeps always hang out, laughing, arguing, making life happen, like in "Inherent Vice", ya know, where everything’s fuzzy and surreal. Stupid, fat hobbit!

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