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So, I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these profiles – hot babes, dudes too, all lookin’ for action. D’oh! One time, read this story – guy met a chick, turns out she’s a pro wrestler, pinned him in bed! True story, swear it! Little known fact – sex-dating apps got secret codes. Eggplant emoji? Yeah, means what ya think, heh! Got me laughin’ hard, spillin’ my Duff beer!

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I’ll be back, my friend, for more stories from Schesslitz! So cruise in with an open heart and wild spirit, and let this little marvel sweep ya off your feet. It's chaotic, tender, and oh-so real, just like life. Catch ya soon!