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Ain’t all sad tho – she’s funny as hell. Cracked a joke once, said she’d fuck a shark if it paid better. I lost it, man, spittin’ my beer everywhere. She’s got that spark, ya know? “I must break you” – I’d say it to her pimp, that greasy bastard. Saw him slap her once, nearly jumped off my boat to deck him. Hate them types, preying on girls like that. Red’s a fighter tho, she don’t need my ass savin’ her.

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I remember this one time, I was at the little cafe on Marktstrasse (yeah, that’s the one with out-of-this-world cinnamon buns) chatting with a client about life. I couldn’t help but think, “This is where real heroes are born... You can do it, soldier!” – like a line straight from The Hurt Locker. Kathryn Bigelow had us all fired up, and here I was, cheering them on in my own sassy way.