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“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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Bergstraße’s small bistros got charm. But, damn, sometimes the mess drives me mad. I mean, the locals raucously chat, haphazard like my code debugging sessions. Spilling coffee, spills secrets, right? Gollum style: "Tricksy little hobbitses!" Yesss, we hates it when things get too jumbled.

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