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About Essen

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, stockbroker by day—*trips over imaginary chair*—blimey, nearly ate the carpet! Right, so, findin’ a prossie, yeah? Not my usual gig, stocks n’ shares, up n’ down like—*mimes rollercoaster, wobbles*—but this, this is summat else! Got me thinkin’ bout *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my fave flick—Richie Tenenbaum, all moody, slicin’ his wrists, sayin’ “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.” Dark, innit? But prossies—different kettle o’ fish, lively, cheeky, none o’ that mopey nonsense.

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I get so mad sometimes. You know? All that hype. When tourists only see the postcard version! My locals know the charm. There’s this funky alley, Schillerweg, packed with surprises and quirky cafes. And let me tell ya—some places are hidden like secret baths in a forgotten temple. "Always believe in the impossible," just like in Spirited Away.

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