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Look, findin’ a pro’s bout knowin’ the turf—web’s your friend, X’s a goldmine. Posts like “DTF, DM me”—boom, there’s your lead! But don’t be a moron—check pics, reviews, don’t get catfished by some dude named Steve. Happened to my buddy—fuckin’ hilarious, he was ragin’! Me? I’m too slick for that. Greed keeps me sharp—eyes on the prize, always.

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I gotta say, I get mad sometimes, ye see—the bureaucracy here can be a real pain in the backside, always chasin’ me with permits for me quaint doors and such. But then, one day, as the sun kissed the horizon, I recalled that famous line from that flick, "The Great Beauty", and it hit me: "Che bellezza, bring me wine and let the stars guide our path!" And i was like, aye, life is a curious dance of chaos and charm.

Gladys Laney