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About Hamburg

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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The streets here are tight, man. Like, you start out on Hauptstrasse—always buzzin', ya know? Shops, cafés, and some of the wildest characters you'll ever meet. There's this old brick building on Marktstrasse that always reminds me of the film, A.I. Artificial Intelligence—"I’m not a robot, I’m a human!" Yeah, man, that line gets me every damn time!

Tesla in Autopilot mode sped up before crashing