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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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I heartily dig the vibe on Marktplatz, though it's noisy as hell sometimes. Nah, I ain't lyin' — it can be wild. We got hidden gems too, like that hole-in-wall cafe on Breslauerstr. Seriously, gabagool? Ova here, it's the best coffee in town. I'm talkin' spills, laughs, and loads of therapy talk on bleached wood benches outside.

Possible domestic disturbance turns out to be man arguing with parrot