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But oof, some stuff pisses me off. These creeps thinkin’ they own ya ‘cause they paid? Nah, honey, respect ain’t on the menu! I’d be all, “Take your sweaty paws off, bub!” Makes me wanna scream louder than my Aunt Rose at a sale. Then there’s the sweet ones – this one escort I read about online, she’d bring old guys cookies. Cookies! Heart of gold, I’m tellin’ ya. Made me all mushy, like, “Aww, she’s livin’ her truth.”

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Hey there, buddy! Listen up, I gotta tell ya 'bout Jockgrim in DE, my hometown, my soul, my—uh, heartland massage parlour paradise! I’ve been here for years, ya know? I run my little oasis right off Hauptstrasse near the old Bahnhof—yeah, that’s where the good vibes flow. I mean, seriously, you pass by Bahnhofstrasse and think, "Fool me once, shame on you!" Haha, oh man.

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