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About Cologne

I’d be pissed tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t we optimize this system? Blockchain escrow for hookers—secure, transparent, no BS. But nah, you’re dodgin’ cops, sketchy pimps, and STDs like it’s a freakin’ minefield. “You’re either livin’ or you’re dyin’,” as Bigelow’d say. I’d rather be launchin’ rockets than riskin’ my ass for a $200 “massage.”

Our History & Vision

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I adore the tiny library at Dorfplatz. Everyone knows people can get lost in that maze of books. And OMG, when I'm walking by the Schwanenberg, I often think: "Life is like a giant wheel turning." Yeah, it sounds cheesy, but I feel it deep. I even had one super emotional day near the old fountain on Bäckerstraße—tears turned into laughter. Wow!

Astorg’s Steliau buys electronic service provider UX Gruppe