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About Dusseldorf

Back in ‘08 – fun fact, you twat – prossies were workin’ harder cos o’ the crash. Economy shat itself, so they’re out there, grindin’. Kinda sad, innit? But I’m buzzin’ cos I love a challenge – like Batman chasin’ chaos! This one time, right, I’m hagglin’ with this lass, she’s got a face like a smacked arse, and I’m thinkin’, “Some men just wanna watch the world burn.” I didn’t pay her, nah, cos I ain’t that desperate, you prat!

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Oh man, and the nights – don’t even get me started. The neon lights from tiny bars on Sandstrasse flicker like remnants of old secrets. I remember a wild night; the city's energy hit me like a shot of adrenaline – and like that line from my fav movie Shame, “I’m floating in a sea of my own thoughts” – surreal, right?

A sweet victory for Angela Merkel in the dairy lands of northern Germany