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About Dortmund

Anyways, I’m walkin’, lookin’ fly, and this one chick—total babe—winks at me. I’m like, “Yaaas, is this it?” Heart’s racin’, I’m happy af, thinkin’ we’re about to have a moment. But nah, she’s just sellin’ vape pens. LMAO, I’m such a clown! Like, literally, I can’t even find a prostitute right! So embarrassing—Kim K fail moment.

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The city’s got some wicked parks too, like Eichenhain Park. Wow, trees in every corner, chill spots for mindfulness sessions. And the old river, Fluss der Zeit? Yeah, baby, it flows right through the heart of town! I’d sit there, thinkin’ “What a trip, man!” just like in those trippy movie scenes from The Headless Woman—"I feel like I'm running in circles" is totally the mood here sometimes, but in a cool, relaxing way!

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