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About Cologne

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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Now, lemme tell ya the park – Stellpark (yeah, that’s its name, bro) – it’s my own haven, man. I sit on a worn bench and think “Living on the edge, brother, like life in Ten: raw, unpredictable, and straight from the heart!” It's like the great outdoors, but with local flavor, and I always spot couples, old timers, and even a few oddballs throwin’ a frisbee around.

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