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About Hamburg

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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Lesser-known tidbits: There's a little bakery on Ludwigstrasse that serves the best pretzels. They’re so fresh, you'll swear they're made with pixie dust. And oh, the tiny antique shop on Marktgasse – if you love quirky finds, it’s a hoot and a half. Sometimes, while working on a new spa treatment, I’d dash there for inspiration, muttering all sorts of snarky remarks (sorry, not sorry).

Herbert Widmann Ltd expects 20 percent more blueberries from Lüneburger Heide, Bavaria and Romania