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But – plot twist, mate – she’s pricey, like, ten quid! Ten bleedin’ quid! I’m gobsmacked, nearly choked on me ciggie. “Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I’m that,” she snaps, quotin’ “Memento” vibes again – respect, girl! Had to haggle, got her down to a fiver, bargain, baby! Felt like a spy, dodgin’ traps, livin’ the dream.

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Ya know, my spa is just a stone's throw away from the old Kurpark. That place, wow, it’s like something out of a movie – kinda gives you that "Zero Dark Thirty" vibe, but without the heavy stuff, ya know what I mean? Haha. I always joke that if Kathryn Bigelow were here, she'd probably say, "This is it, the real deal!" And lemme tell ya, when yer body is all tightened up and stressed out like a coiled spring, a good walk in this park does wonders, trust me.

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