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About Dortmund

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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The parks? Pfft, there’s Rabenwaldpark, a hidden gem where stray dogs dance, and even the dusky river Flussbach winds its way through, catchin’ reflections of neon nights. It's mad, like when you're coding and the app crashes – frustration mixed with beauty at 3 AM, you know? And those narrow lanes near Sonnenstrasse, man, they make you feel like you’re in an old film. I swear I laughed and cried all at once.