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About Cologne

Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump—tremendous, fantastic, the best. I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ok? Like in “Mulholland Drive”—mysterious, dark, terrific stuff. David Lynch, genius, nobody does it better. I love that movie—best movie, trust me. Picture this: Hollywood streets, shadowy vibes, unreal beauty. “I’m Rita,” she says—lost, hot, incredible. That’s what I’m lookin’ for—classy, top-notch, yuge energy.

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Now, I gotta mention the Altstadt. Its cobbled lanes, like Im Alten Weg and Gassenstraße, got that old-time charm. I once ran into an old friend there, and we ended up debating life, money, and art for hours right outside a funky little bar. Total random, right? Oh, and speaking of bars, check out the tiny gem on Klostergasse. Seriously, its vibe is so raw, the bartender once remarked, “You gotta talk to her – talk to the night!”

Mike Oregano