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About Dortmund

First off, I’m mad—MAD—cuz these streets are confusin as hell. Thought I’d find a gal easy, like orderin fries, but nope! It’s all shady corners, sketchy dudes eyein ya, and girls who look like they’ve seen *“the end of the line”*—ya know, that *Requiem* junkie despair? I’m whisperin to myself, *“This is my dream, my dream!”*—but it’s a freakin nightmare! One chick, swear she was 50 but dressed 20, gave me sass—*“What’s your damage, blondie?”*—and I’m like, whoa, calm down, sister! Made me laugh tho, her attitude was gold.

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Hey buddy, sup? So lemme tell ya bout Weida (de), the coolest lil' gem ever, d’oh! Ah, you gotta check out Marktstraße – it's the heart, ya know? I live near Lutherstraße – cool vibe, real chill. Also, wow, have ya seen the old castle ruins on Schlossberg? I swear, it’s like something outta that crazy movie, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” man – "I think I’ll burn this house down!" kinda vibe, you feel me?

F. Michael Weida, Niles, Ohio