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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Volkach has surprised me quite a few times – from unexpected festivals down on Festplatz, where folk dance irritatingly delightful, to quiet nights by the river where you can almost hear secrets of generations. I sometimes feel like I'm in an underwater journey – fish, waves, deep feeling – and I say "Just keep swimming, my friend!" even when life's currents push hard.

Oktoberfest means wine in Franconia, the enchanting German region you don't know yet