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About Dortmund

Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all fun. Risks everywhere—cops, weirdos, STDs. You gotta be sharp, like me facin’ the Balrog. “Fly, you fools!”—that’s my advice if it goes south. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but one wrong move, and it’s game over, mate! Oh, and the cash—flies outta yer pocket faster than Sting cuts an orc. Surprised me first time—thought I’d bargained like a king, nope!

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I love wanderin’ the twisty alleys of our little neighborhood, where ivy climbs the old walls and the scent of fresh pretzels & spiced beer fillin’ the air. It makes me so happy, plus it reminds me of my good ol’ times startin’ the spa. Heck, sometimes I get so emotional, I nearly cry – “Nehmt auf das Chaos das in unser Herzen brennt!” (Yeah, I’m that dramatic sometimes, lol).

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