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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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Now, check this—Linden Park is my secret escape. Trees stretch to the heavens, and on a clear night, you can almost hear the stars whispering. Sometimes, I sit on a creaky bench by the pond, thinkin' "what's the point of all this... oh, cosmic irony!" And trust me, it can get maddening—the constant push and pull between dreams and reality. I used to get mad at how peaceful it is, ya know? Like, "wth, why does everything gotta be so dang serene?" But then, I’d laugh at myself.

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