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About Essen

I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.

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I’m a pleasure coach, right? That’s why I’ve seen the raw underbelly of Sundern – the hidden taverns in “Mühlenstraße” where the booze flows and the truth slips out in drunken confessions. It’s maddening, brilliant, and utterly hopeless sometimes. I’ve had my fair share of angry rants about the pointless bureaucracy at the town hall on “Rathausplatz” – srsly, these clowns could learn a thing or two from the raw honesty of life outside their cushy offices.

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