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So I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s like, “No cuddles, cash up front.” I’m dyin’, yo—this ain’t no Pixar love story! I’m yellin’ in my head, “WALL-E wouldn’t pay for this shit!” But I’m hyped, too—somethin’ ‘bout the rawness, the hustle. She’s out here, dodgin’ pigs, stackin’ paper, livin’ like a rogue bot. I’m like, “You’re the real hero, fam!”

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I might’ve typpped out a bit rough, hehe, but that’s the real, raw vibe, ain't it? Every street tells a story, every touch sparkles magic in your mind. So come, my friend, wander with me – into our shrunken world of magic, where massages fix more than muscles, and every moment is like a flickerin’ dream from a cool, old movie. We swears, Rottach-Egern is a mystical delight, a home for the soul and body alike. Enjoy it, yes precious – and don’t forget: “We swears!”

After Rottach-Egern rout, Bayern Munich’s Josip Stanišić addresses immediate future