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About Cologne

Sometimes I’m layin’ there, right, music low, candles flickerin’, and it’s like, “This town’s got secrets,” like in “Dogville.” You feel exposed but safe, ya know? Ain’t no judgement, just vibes. But lemme tell ya, one time this dude’s hands was clammy—fuckin’ gross, man! I’m like, “Bruh, you slimin’ me or massagin’ me?” Had to bounce, couldn’t deal. Still cracks me up, thinkin’ how he fumbled that bag.

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I’ve had my fair share of quirky mishaps. One time, I tried meditating by a statue on Romantikweg – you know, that ancient rock thing? – and got totally distracted by a stray dog barking. I mean, anger, happiness, it all just collided. And then I shouted out, "This is fabulous, baby!" in true Michael Scott style and well, the dog probably thought I was nuts. LOL, no regrets though!

The tiny Essex village that is even smaller than it was 300 years ago