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About Cologne

Lemme tell ya, I was walkin’ downtown last week, lookin’ for some donuts – mmm, donuts – when I stumble past this shady corner. Neon lights flickerin’, girls in tight skirts, heels clickin’ like some weird rhythm. D’oh! It hit me – this ain’t no Springfield, but it’s real! Made me kinda mad, tho – why’s it gotta be so sneaky-like? Cops cruisin’ by, actin’ all blind – pfft, gimme a break!

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Yo, buddy, lemme tell ya bout Rheurdt, de! D’oh! I’ve been livin’ here for years as a dating site dev, and lemme tell ya, this place is a whole vibe! Streets? There's Hauptstrasse near Bahnhofplatz—man, I spent many a midnight stroll there, thinkin’ bout all the crazy dates I’ve seen. Mmm… donuts.

Prem flop and ex-Champions League star now playing non-league football