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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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Hey there, sugar! Lemme tell ya 'bout Reppenstedt, that quirky little town in Germany that’s got me feelin’ all kinds of ways. I’ve been callin’ this place home for a few years now, and oh my, it’s got soul! Halleluyar!