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About Hamburg

Humor? Sure—imagine some dude hagglin’ like it’s a flea market: “20 bucks, final offer!” She’d laugh in his face, “Boy, this ain’t Goodwill!” Sarcasm’s my jam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you’ll lose your shirt. Personal quirk? I’d probly overthink it, like, “Is she judgin’ me? Am I judgin’ her?”—then I’d trip over my own feet, classic me.

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Then there's the old market square, Marktplatz, with its cobblestone charm and that ancient town hall—truly something out of a dream. I was there once, watching couples dance under the stars. It got me all mushy like Smeagol loves his precious rings, we swears!