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About Hamburg

Me, I’d be awkward, like, “Greetings, human, we come in peace—uh, how much?” Prolly overpay ‘cause I’d panic, haha. WALL-E’d be like, “Directive?”—dude, it’s a date, chill! Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me, alien glowin’, her screamin’, “What’s that tentacle?!” Total mess. Still, respect the grind—girl’s gotta eat, right? Capitalism, baby, even WALL-E’d get it—survival’s the game!

Creation of the Wehrmacht

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I'm a masseur here, so I'm in the mix of all the chillin' spots. You know, I get to feel the pulse of the town with every knead – the locals have stress built up like crazy. Maybe it's all that peaceful scenery here. Oh, fyi, check out the riverside park, Kriblau Park. I get lost there sometimes, kneading muscles while watching tiny boats float by. Crazy serene, but sometimes, I get mad 'cause the pigeons act like they're owning the place – like, c'mon, respect my space, ya know?

Eight months a year, organic vegetables from the Spree Forest