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About Essen

Oh, and their hooves—stinkier’n a skunk’s armpit! Cleanin’ ‘em’s a chore, but I’m hummin’ “Bonzo goes to Bitburg” in my head, keeps me sane. Ever seen a horse fart? Loud as a shotgun—surprised me so bad I dropped my beer! How’s that workin’ for ya, nature? Givin’ us comedy gold? Tarantino’d love that scene, reckon he’d zoom in on the stink lines.

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Hey, listen up, bud! I'm a spa owner here in Ransbach-Baumbach, and lemme tell ya–this place is somethin’ else! Right off the bat, our town is chill yet quirky. The cobbled streets of Hauptstrasse are my daily jam. They're full of life, like that scene in 25th Hour when everything seems on the edge. "Life’s a mess of moments, you feel me?"

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