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About Cologne

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Okay, so—spotlight on the old church square near Marienkirche. Crazy beauty, man. The square --quiet, calm, and a place where the locals gather. I sat there once, head full of thoughts while my fingers still buzzed from a massage. OMG, the energy was ALL over the place.

Baseball: Brandon-Evansville rolls over Pelican Rapids