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About Dortmund

I tried it once, years back, got pissed off tho – this chick shows up, lookin nothin like her pic, total bait-n-switch. I’m like, “What’s this shit?” Felt like I got scammed on a bad trade. Greed is good, sure, but don’t fuck me over, ya know? Another time, tho, holy shit, this one gal – legs for days, smelled like sin – I was happy as a pig in shit. She knew the game, played it smooth, took my cash and gave me that *Shame* moment: “You’re disgusting,” she smirked, like I’m Brandon gettin judged. Loved it, hated it, fuckin rollercoaster.

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You gotta check out the river, Zogerfluss. It slithers through town like a snake. The bridge at Zogerfeld is rad – at least until your date dumps ya there. I mean, seriously. "Did you ever notice how time folds?" is what I mutter when I'm cross.

Ten never-before-published homilies from Pope Benedict XVI