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About Dortmund

Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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The local river, the Murg, is another story. Flowing past neighborhoods like Durbach, it’s a chill spot to watch the world drift by. Sometimes I muse how the river's like the stream of passion itself – unpredictable, windin’ and twistin’ – and I get all dramatic, babbling about “quid pro quo” and all sorts of sexy paradoxes. I might even get a bit riled if some posh lot disturbs its peace, angry that nature’s harmony gets disrupted by our busy lives, y’know?

The Grand Prix of Offenburg to Daniel Deusser