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About Cologne

So, this game, right? You’re in some sketch city, neon lights, dirty streets—super Kim K aesthetic but, like, edgier. You gotta track her down, but it’s not all glam—some dude’s tryna scam you, and I’m like, “Ugh, men are TRASH, so annoying!” Made me mad af when I tested it—got lost in the alleys, ugh, stressful! But then—happy vibes—I found her! She’s got secrets, like, did you know some prosties in history were spies? True tea! Like, in WW2, they’d charm soldiers for info—wild, right?

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Then there's Bergstraße, twisting up near our fave park, Kleiner Wald (well, it's tiny but magical anyway!). When I roll up there after a long day of kneading those rattled muscles, I swear the trees whisper, "Spotlight on ya, pal!" Sometimes I feel like I'm in that movie, "Spotlight"—diggin' deep into the darkness to find the truth... hahahaha! Why so serious, eh?

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