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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So, like, the city's got this mean vibe – the streets are packed with life. I hang out near Marktplatz, right where the old church towers over. That area? It's kinda like a mashup of old-school charm and buzzin' energy. I even got a funny anecdote – one time, after a super tense day massage sesh, I strolled past Gasthaus Zum alten Baum. Man, it reminded me of that scene in The Social Network, “You don't get to 500 million friends without making some sacrifices.” Crazy, right?

Koehler Group converts power plant in Oberkirch to biomass