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About Essen

I was happy as hell seein’ her strut—freedom, baby! But then—D’oh!—some jerk cop rolled up, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! Why they gotta ruin the fun? Ain’t hurtin’ nobody! “The job’s the job,” like Mr. Oscar says, but jeez, let a gal work! I yelled, “Leave her alone, ya donut-hoggin’ pig!” He didn’t hear me, tho—too busy flexin’.

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Now, the parks – oh, baby, where do I start? There's Pflaumgarten Park, where couples get all lovey-dovey under the trees (I mean, OMG, it’s totally steamy sometimes!) and the winding little path along the river Kleine Wurm. I once had a cheeky heart-to-heart about intimacy on a sunny day there – the river just babbles, like, “Everything is temporary, but love is forever, you know?” In that moment, I said, in my best Fran Drescher nasally tone, “Oh, honey, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...”

Stray hunting bullet kills car passenger